Wednesday, May 13, 2009


Have you ever heard the words "I'm Sorry" from someone after they did something to upset you or cause you pain. I think all of us have and how many times did you walk away either saying they weren't sincere or they showed no remorse for their actions? Maybe it was a work colleague who steals a client from you on your day off. Now he is making the commission that should be yours. How does that "I'm Sorry" sit with you? How about the time your parents forgot to pick you up from school and you spent hours just sitting there wondering does anyone care enough to come and get me. When someone finally does come to get you does "I'm sorry I got busy and forgot" make you feel any better?

Now I have an apology to make and I'm sure to some it maybe won't warm your heart but it's the best I can do for cyberspace. I have been overwhelmingly busy the last three weeks and I still continue to be at this very moment and I don't see an end in sight. I am very sorry to all the "Real People" faithful who read this blog for my lack of posts and sporadic posting. I will try to find time to do better in the future but I can't make any promises. Real life happens and it's how you respond to the challenges of life that ultimately dictates your quality of life. You have a choice. You can suck on lemons or make lemonade.

Let's get back to apologizing. Gary Chapman wrote a book years ago called the "The Five Languages of Apology". He also wrote "The Five Love Languages" which I like to call required reading for every married couple. When reading this book "The Five Languages of Apology" I realized some huge truths about how we get hurt in relationships and what it will take for each of us individually to heal from those hurts. The first thing I learned was I require more than the token "I'm Sorry". It's not that I didn't know that already from experience but the reasons why I required more were more evident. Please understand that different situations require different levels of apology also. For instance if I accidentally stepped on your foot a simple I'm sorry will do opposed to I forgot the back door was open hunny and we haven't seen your favorite pet all day "I'm sorry". Do you see the difference? Here are the five fundamental aspects of the language of apology 1. Expressing Regret (I'm sorry and explain why.) 2. Accept Responsibility (admit your fault)I was wrong. 3. Making Restitution (What can I do to make it right?) 4. Genuine Repenting (I'll never do that again. I feel terrible that I've made you feel this way.) 5. Requesting Forgiveness (Will you please forgive me?") In this book Gary Chapman gives you a test you can take to find out your language of apology, just as he does in his Love Languages book. I highly recommend these books. They have been instrumental in building and rebuilding many relationships. God Bless! ">

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