Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Contract or Covenant?

Take a look around you it doesn't take long to spot someone you know who's marriage is in trouble, heading towards divorce, or someone you know who is already divorced. The statistics don't lie the divorce rate has been steadily climbing for decades. There are many factors that have contributed to the lack of commitment to the marital bond and the vows we swear before God and witnesses. To have and to hold, in sickness and health, for richer or poorer, for better or worse, until death do us part, these just doesn't seem to resonate with people anymore. In the Garden of Eden, Eve listened to the serpent and disobeyed God and got Adam to follow along bringing sin into the world. God confronted Adam with what he had done. Adam promptly blamed Eve and then blamed God for giving Eve to him. He didn't take responsibility for his actions but he never said that woman is not good take her away and give me a new one. Marriage is a covenant agreement not a contract like the world would like you to believe. It isn't a license that gets revoked if there are to many violations or infractions. You see in marriage you will have sickness, money will run low sooner or later, and you will have ups and downs in your relationship and life will challenge you at times but in spite of this your loving bond to have and hold each other through it all is to be until you die. Marriage was never meant to be about any one person's personal happiness but to the growth and development of the two people in a bond to love each other for life. We are to be united together and dependant on each other to get through all the challenges of this life. Through our experiences and loving care for each other, we grow closer in everyway. Did you ever notice how some of the qualities you lack, your spouse has them in abundance or just how complimentary you both are to each other. What we tend to do though is point out the things that we don't like the things that bother us, that drive us crazy, or pet peevs that our spouses have. We focus there instead of on all the positive characteristics and good behaviors our spouses do have. If you find yourself in trouble in your marriage relationship or you see yourself doing some of these things I mentioned, there is hope. You need to take inventory. Examine your heart and see what it is that really matters to you and your relationship. You will probably find very few things that are in need of immediate change. The one's you do though will need to be talked about with your spouse in a loving manner. Don't let your current circumstances keep you down. Don't allow an unresponsive spouse or denial of a problem to handcuff you. You have to stand up and work towards change to have the relationship you desire and it helps if you pray.... alot.
I have a challenge for you. Take a piece of paper fold it in half long ways or by height. Then make a list of all the things your spouse does that drive you crazy or you just can't stand. Then email me and I will give you the final direction on this exercise. It is sure to open your eyes to some things and change your perspective going forward. It may even keep your marriage together.

God Bless!

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